Our guide really said, “Sexy Woman is easier to remember.” Okay, it really does help. Yep, we took another day tour. This time, we had a calm and knowledgeable guide. The other tourists were nicer and more receptive than the previous group. So much better. The trip to Saqsaywaman was way more pleasant. By the way, Saqsaywaman is an Inca ruin near Cusco, maybe a fortress or a temple. It looks unfinished because the Spanish took a most of the stones from this structure to build cathedrals after they established dominance. But all (Inca culture) is not lost—Inti Raymi is celebrated here. It wasn’t the right time and we didn’t get to check it out, too bad for us.

Sounds crazy to marvel over some rocks—but it can’t be helped while gawking at some Incan structures. We visited Qoricancha, quechua for Temple of the Sun. This Inca temple has some impeccable rock engineering and I’ve included some closeups. You can’t pass a needle through these rocks that fit together perfectly to form many a trapezoidal wall. Trapezoidal to withstand the earthquakes. The Incas were definitely on to something before the Spaniards arrived and built their cathedrals on top of these temples. Another thing, these walls were originally covered in gold. All gone now, probably all shipped to Spain as well.

We ended the Sacred Valley tour with a presentation on the alpaca yarn-making process. Because of our time in Huancayo, we already had some idea on how it works. The young lady (left) gave a hilarious presentation full of wisecracks. At the end of it, she asked the tour group to buy some Alpaca goods (ostensibly) made in her village. A blond American tourist in her ’70s thought she would compliment the young girl by saying, “Oh my dear, how can I buy you instead?” Lady, it’s 2010. America doesn’t do that anymore!

A fitting way to end this particular tour where the tourists act like they are colonial-era landowners and Peruvians behave like the tourists are walking wallets. I certainly hope this is not indicative of how all tours can be.

Calling someone “touristy” (and I mean those air quotes) can be a slur these days. Maybe I’m too sensitive about not being Ms. Hardcore DIY, but I’m pretty sure I have detected the derisive tone whenever extreme travelers I’ve met snort about “tours” and “tourists”. So I try not to feel like a lame yuppie when I schedule a tour, because I think the locals might know more than I do about where to go. And some historical context might be nice when looking at rocks on a mountain.

Well, this Sacred Valley tour was a bust. We got that clue when the guide exclaimed that Columbus landed in Peru. Then we realized everyone else on the bus was a little touchy when our guide talked about how cruel the conquistadors were. One old and bloated German dude actually told the guide to, “get over it” when he lamented killing of the Incas. And finally, German Gin Blossom Face bellowed the following to our confused guide: “Maybe their time was up!”

I think our guide starting phoning it in after being mocked. He barely imparted knowledge after that, and we would just amble along in uncomfortable silence. He only took us to shop of tchotchkes, saying that we were helping the Peruvian economy. By that point, I wondered if the non-tour-group type of traveler would have just hiked around the area for days, sniffing the soil and intuiting everything.

The Sacred Valley, about 2 hours from Cusco, is beautiful. These pictures barely do it justice.

It was muy hard to say goodbye to Huancayo. D and I got a lot from our time there. Energetic kids, warm hosts and a good look at life in untouristy Peru. Eli: Hacemos falta a todo, especialmente los abrazos de los niños.

Although Huancayo is between Lima and Cusco, there isn’t a good road through the Andes between Huancayo and Cusco. We have to take an overnight bus to Lima, and then fly to Cusco the next morning. When we arrive, we find a relatively cheap, clean and centrally located hostel. I think it is a good sign that they provided us with towels and Denise soap. And at least we have a private bathroom for 5 days—alert the Sultan of Brunei because we are living in the lap of luxury!